🔐 How to Express “Sharing Secrets in Confidence” in English
Talking about private or sensitive information is a part of everyday life—whether it’s with friends, coworkers, or family. In English, when you want someone to keep what you say private, a useful expression to know is “in confidence.”
It’s a phrase that shows trust. When you say something in confidence, you’re sharing a secret and expecting the other person not to tell anyone else. This kind of language is especially important in both personal relationships and professional settings where privacy matters.
In this post, we’ll look at:
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What “in confidence” means
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Common ways to use it in natural English
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Other phrases and idioms that express a similar idea
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Practical examples so you can use them confidently in real conversations
Whether you’re talking to a friend or writing a formal email, knowing how to express confidentiality will help you sound more natural and respectful in English.
Understanding "In Confidence"
In English, when you say something “in confidence,” it means you’re sharing private or sensitive information with someone—and you trust them not to tell anyone else. It’s like saying, “I’m telling you this secretly, so please keep it between us.”
This phrase is often used when talking about personal, emotional, or professional matters that you want to stay private.
🔑 Key Expression: “In Confidence”
The main phrase here is “in confidence.” It’s important not to confuse it with “with confidence,” because even though they sound similar, they mean very different things.
| Phrase | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|
| in confidence | sharing a secret, trusting someone not to tell | “She told me about her health problems in confidence.” |
| with confidence | doing something with certainty or self-belief | “He spoke with confidence during the meeting.” |
💡 “Confidence” can mean trust or self-assurance, depending on the context. That’s why “in confidence” is about trust, not bravery.
✅ How to Use “In Confidence” Naturally
Here are some real-life examples to show how native speakers use this phrase:
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“I told you that in confidence.”
→ I shared that with you secretly—I didn’t expect you to tell anyone else. -
“Can I tell you something in confidence?”
→ I want to share something personal, but I need to know I can trust you. -
“You can tell me anything in confidence.”
→ I’m a safe person to talk to. I won’t share your secrets. -
“She shared the news in confidence, so please don’t repeat it.”
→ She trusted me to keep it private, so I expect you to do the same. -
“He broke my trust. I told him in confidence, but he told everyone.”
→ This shows how important it is to respect confidentiality.
Related Expressions for Sharing Secrets
1. Off the record
Used to say that something should not be repeated or made public.
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“Just between us—and off the record—I think he’s planning to quit.”
2. Between you and me
Used for casual, personal secrets.
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“Between you and me, I don’t think she’s happy in that job.”
3. Keep it to yourself
A more direct way to say “Don’t tell anyone.”
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“I’ll tell you, but keep it to yourself, okay?”
4. Don’t tell a soul
Emphasizes that no one should hear this—not even one person.
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“Don’t tell a soul, but I think I might be moving.”
5. My lips are sealed
A playful or friendly way to say “I won’t tell.”
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“You can trust me—my lips are sealed!”
🔄 Using “Confide” as a Verb
The verb “to confide” means to share something secret or personal with someone you trust.
Examples:
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“She confided in me about her struggles at work.”
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“I don’t really have anyone to confide in.”
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“You're the only one I feel I can confide in.”
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“He always confides in his older brother.”
💬 You usually “confide in someone.”
😞 When Trust Is Broken
Sometimes, unfortunately, someone shares what you told them in confidence. That’s when phrases like these are used:
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“You betrayed my confidence.”
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“I trusted you, and you broke that confidence.”
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“Please don’t betray my confidence—this means a lot to me.”
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“I don’t want to betray anyone’s confidence, so I’ll keep that to myself.”
🤝 Keeping Someone’s Secret
If you want to reassure someone that you won’t tell anyone, try:
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“I’ll keep your confidence.”
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“You can trust me—I’m going to keep your confidence.”
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“Could you keep my confidence? I really need someone to talk to.”
📝 Summary Chart
| Expression | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|
| In confidence | Secretly, with trust | “She told me in confidence.” |
| Confide in someone | Trust someone enough to share something private | “I confided in her about everything.” |
| Off the record | Unofficial, not to be repeated | “This is off the record, okay?” |
| Between you and me | Just for you and me to know | “Between you and me, I don’t like the plan.” |
| Keep it to yourself | Don’t tell anyone else | “I’ll tell you, but keep it to yourself.” |
| Don’t tell a soul | Absolutely don’t tell anyone | “Don’t tell a soul about what I said.” |
| My lips are sealed | I promise not to share your secret | “My lips are sealed—you can count on me.” |
| Betray someone’s confidence | Share someone’s secret | “You betrayed my confidence.” |
| Keep someone’s confidence | Protect someone’s secret | “I’ll keep your confidence, don’t worry.” |
🧠 Real-Life Scenarios Using These Expressions
Let’s look at some realistic, everyday situations where these expressions naturally come up.
🔒 Scenario 1: Asking to Share a Secret
“Can I tell you something in confidence? I’m thinking about changing jobs, but I don’t want my coworkers to know yet.”
👉 You’re asking someone to keep what you’re about to say private.
🤝 Scenario 2: Promising Confidentiality
“You can confide in me about anything. I promise I’ll keep your confidence.”
👉 You’re showing that you’re trustworthy and won’t repeat what’s shared.
😞 Scenario 3: When Trust Is Broken
“I told you about my relationship problems in confidence, and now everyone in the office knows. You betrayed my confidence.”
👉 Expressing disappointment when someone breaks your trust.
🛡️ Scenario 4: Reassuring Someone
“Don’t worry—when you confide in me, your secrets are safe. I never betray someone’s confidence.”
👉 Reaffirming your reliability as someone who can be trusted.
🌍 Cultural Note: Why This Matters
In English-speaking cultures, respecting confidentiality is taken seriously. If someone tells you something “in confidence,” and you share it without permission, it’s considered a serious breach of trust.
That’s why learning how to use these expressions—and when to use them—can help you communicate more respectfully and build stronger, more trusting relationships.
🔴 Common Mistakes with “Confide” and “In Confidence”
Here are some common mistakes English learners make when using “confide” and “in confidence,” along with corrections:
1. Mistake:
“I confided to him about my problems.”
Correction:
“I confided in him about my problems.”
Explanation: You confide in someone, not confide to them.
2. Mistake:
“Can I confide to you something?”
Correction:
“Can I confide in you?”
Explanation: The correct phrasing is “confide in” when referring to the person you trust with your secrets.
3. Mistake:
“I told her in confidence that I’m moving.”
Correction:
“I told her in confidence that I’m moving, and she promised not to tell anyone.”
Explanation: You tell something in confidence with the expectation that it will stay private. Always complete the sentence for clarity.
4. Mistake:
“I don’t want to betray my confidence to anyone.”
Correction:
“I don’t want to betray anyone’s confidence.”
Explanation: You betray someone else’s confidence, not your own.
5. Mistake:
“You betrayed my confidence when you told everyone.”
Correction:
“You betrayed my confidence by telling everyone.”
Explanation: Use by to indicate how someone betrayed your confidence.
6. Mistake:
“I confide in him everything.”
Correction:
“I confide everything in him.”
Explanation: The correct structure is to place the object after the verb.
7. Mistake:
“Please don’t tell my secret, it’s in confidence.”
Correction:
“Please don’t tell my secret, I told you in confidence.”
Explanation: The phrase “in confidence” is used when telling something, not when referring to the secret itself.
8. Mistake:
“She is confiding in me with her secret.”
Correction:
“She is confiding her secret in me.”
Explanation: The object (the secret) comes first before the person in “confide.”
9. Mistake:
“I can’t confide to you.”
Correction:
“I can’t confide in you.”
Explanation: Remember to use “in” with “confide.”
10. Mistake:
“I’ll keep your confidence.”
Correction:
“I’ll keep your secret.”
Explanation: It’s more natural to say “keep your secret” than “keep your confidence”, although “keep your confidence” can still be correct in some contexts.
🧠 Quiz: Test Your Understanding of “Confide” and “In Confidence”
Here are 10 questions to check your knowledge of these phrases.
1. Which of the following sentences is correct?
a) "I confided to my friend about my personal issue."
b) "I confided in my friend about my personal issue."
2. Which phrase would you use to ask someone to keep a secret?
a) "Can I tell you something with confidence?"
b) "Can I tell you something in confidence?"
3. What does it mean to “betray someone’s confidence”?
a) To tell their secret without permission.
b) To promise to keep their secret.
4. Choose the correct sentence:
a) "She confided in me her troubles."
b) "She confided her troubles in me."
5. If someone says, “You betrayed my confidence,” what did they do?
a) They shared your secret.
b) They kept your secret.
6. Which of the following sentences uses the correct structure?
a) "I promise I will betray your confidence."
b) "I promise I will keep your confidence."
7. What does the phrase "in confidence" mean?
a) To say something openly in public.
b) To share something in private, with trust.
8. What is the most natural way to reassure someone?
a) "I will tell everyone your secret, don’t worry."
b) "Don’t worry, I’ll keep your confidence."
9. Which sentence is correct?
a) "Can I confide to you something?"
b) "Can I confide in you?"
10. How would you express that you won’t tell someone’s secret?
a) "I’ll keep your confidence."
b) "I’ll betray your confidence."
🧠 Quiz Answers:
1. Which of the following sentences is correct?
Answer: b) "I confided in my friend about my personal issue."
2. Which phrase would you use to ask someone to keep a secret?
Answer: b) "Can I tell you something in confidence?"
3. What does it mean to “betray someone’s confidence”?
Answer: a) To tell their secret without permission.
4. Choose the correct sentence:
Answer: b) "She confided her troubles in me."
5. If someone says, “You betrayed my confidence,” what did they do?
Answer: a) They shared your secret.
6. Which of the following sentences uses the correct structure?
Answer: b) "I promise I will keep your confidence."
7. What does the phrase "in confidence" mean?
Answer: b) To share something in private, with trust.
8. What is the most natural way to reassure someone?
Answer: b) "Don’t worry, I’ll keep your confidence."
9. Which sentence is correct?
Answer: b) "Can I confide in you?"
10. How would you express that you won’t tell someone’s secret?
Answer: a) "I’ll keep your confidence."
❓ FAQ: Answers to Common Questions About “Confide” and “In Confidence”
1. What does “confide” mean?
Answer: "To confide" means to share personal, private information with someone you trust.
2. Is there a difference between "confide in" and "confide to"?
Answer: Yes, "confide in" is the correct phrase. You confide in someone, not confide to them.
3. Can I use "in confidence" for anything I say privately?
Answer: Yes, "in confidence" refers to sharing private or secret information, expecting that the listener will not repeat it.
4. How do I reassure someone that I will keep their secret?
Answer: You can say, "Don't worry, I’ll keep your confidence," or "I promise I won’t tell anyone."
5. What happens if someone betrays my confidence?
Answer: It means they shared your private information without your permission, which can damage your relationship.
6. Can I confide in anyone?
Answer: Ideally, you should confide in someone you trust deeply, like a close friend or family member.
7. What should I say if I want to share something confidential with a friend?
Answer: You could say, "Can I tell you something in confidence?" or "I need to confide in you about something."
8. What if someone confides in me, and I can't keep their secret?
Answer: You should let them know as soon as possible that you can’t keep their confidence. It's important to be honest.
9. Can I ask someone, “Can I tell you something in confidence?” even if it’s not a secret?
Answer: It’s generally used for sharing sensitive or secret information. If it’s not a secret, it’s better to simply share your thoughts.
10. What’s the best way to respond if someone tells me something in confidence?
Answer: The best response is to reassure them by saying something like, "I won’t tell anyone, I promise."
✏️ Practice Time!
Want to get more comfortable using these expressions? Try these simple practice prompts:
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🗣 Think of a personal story you might only share “in confidence.” How would you ask someone to keep it private?
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🙋♂️ Imagine a friend says, “Can I tell you something in confidence?” — What would you say to reassure them?
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😬 Think about a time someone may have shared your secret. How would you express that they “betrayed your confidence”?
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🤗 How would you show someone they can confide in you?
Practicing these phrases out loud or in writing can really help you sound more natural and confident in sensitive conversations.
And remember—using language that shows respect and trust isn’t just good English, it’s good communication. 💬✨
